Top 10 things I learned on summer vacation!

10. Teaching a girlfriend how to fish is infinately easier than teaching her to golf.

9. Thirteen hour car trips are fun... even better when followed by three hour trips back to your own house.

8. There is enough dead bugs on my car for me to officially nickname it RAID.

7. Sun Drop is better in the glass bottle.

6. Sun tans are great... the pasty white area left where your shorts were is not.

5. Farting in church is wrong.

4. Slowly passing cops near the speed limit and then accelerating when they are well behind you will still get you pulled over.

3. When the sign says "Lane ends, merge" don't try to skip ahead down the open lane that is about to end... merging later just slows down everyone else.

2. One million people attending the "Taste of Chicago"... and I was damn glad not to be one of them.

1. Wisconsin > *